Another year….

Monday, September 5th, 2011 | By Catherine Seven - AKA Pauls Sister | 1 Comment

Paul @ The Space Needle 1996

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, Real love leaves a memory no one can steal….

Another entry I am posting, another moment I feel this pain I don’t wish upon anyone….

As I am writing this the pain in my heart is a pain I can’t explain as my husband try’s to understand, there are no words to express a day that not only did we have to say goodbye to my father, but also the day I had to say goodbye to my brother…

As I weep to Duane about how it’s not fair, I just wish there was something I could of done to make it all better for my brother, Tonight is a night and tomorrow is a day I hold my heart in pain as I miss my father, i wish the anniveresery isn’t the same day that 2 important men in my life are gone. I do know when Paul passed I looked at my mom with our strange Winiarski humor and say, let’s look at the bright side, Pauls passing on Dad anniversary of death makes it easier we only have to feel this pain one time a year… But I wish it was that easy, but it’s really not…
Every year on this day, the pain doesn’t get easier…

I love you so much Paul. This night is a night I saw you take your last breath in relief of leaving the place that brought you so much pain.
My entry on this page today isn’t going to make much sense as I can’t make sense of how I am truly feeling, I feel sad, I feel mad, I feel so many ways and so many things unanswered.
But one thing I do know I am mad, I am angry that 2 amazing men are not here with us, I am mad that we can’t have them here to join our journey. I do know I truely love my brother more then words can say, I love my father as I am truly daddy’s little girls.
I want all who read this or look at this post and know my brother Paul is amazing, the last years he had where not the true Paul we all know and I only wish we had that man still, I am so thankful to have the years I have had with him, the amazing times we had in Seattle together! The brother that showed me how to use chopsticks, took my on my first fairy ride, listening to The Romans, and giving me noggies! I want all to read this and know Paul is amazing, we miss him so much and wish he was here with us but he truly is in a better place, he is away from anything he was running from and is at peace. He is with my father.
I love u brother! I am sorry for your pain, and I hope u have found peace!
Daddy, I love you and miss you!

And now that I am closing my post, I am strangely thankful I only have to post this 1 time a year, so the tragedy is horrible but a blessing in a strange way!

Thank you to all the true amazing people in my brothers world!

~ His Sister, Catherine Seven

A goodbye isn’t painful unless you’re never going to say hello again. ~Author Unknown